Pray The Gay

I believe that a homosexual Christian can live as if they were heterosexual. That’s quite a statement, and anyone who reads it might very easily assume that I hold beliefs that I do not even remotely agree with. Nevertheless, I do believe it is true. I’m a Christian — I believe the Son of the living God took on human form, was killed, and then rose from the dead. A gay person being able to live as if they were straight is a small thing compared to that.

I’m an alcoholic, I’ve been sober for twenty-four years. Drinking was once the most natural thing in the world for me. There were many occasions when I got so drunk that I was not able to have sex, but the opposite never happened. Drinking — and using other substances — was far more important to me than any form of sexual expression. Now, though I know that I am still an alcoholic, I am never tempted to drink alcohol. I very much prefer the life I have now, though it is not what is “natural” to me. This would seem to be analogous to a homosexual living as if they were heterosexual, and this is why I believe it is possible.

The main difference between my experience as an alcoholic, and a gay person who attempts to live as if straight, is in the motivation. I ruined my life with alcohol. I did permanent damage to my body, broke laws and harmed other people. I drove drunk on many occasions, and the fact that I never killed anyone is not something I can take credit for. I was motivated to get sober by my realization that I would soon die if I didn’t. Of course, other people had expressed their desires that I would drink less, or not at all, but I wasn’t motivated by that.

I’m sure there are homosexuals — or other people in the LGBTQ+ category — who have internal motivations to live as if they were cis-gender and heterosexual, but I’m equally sure that all LGBTQ+ people are subjected to social pressure to behave as if they were not. In many cases, this social pressure is the only motivation the individual has to try to behave as if they were cis-gender and straight. And very often, this pressure comes from people who claim to be Christians.

I said that I was motivated to get sober by my realization that I would soon die if I didn’t. I experienced that realization as if it came from a source outside of myself — more of a revelation than a realization. I started trying to get sober immediately, but it was two months before I was able to get a bed in a facility where I was detoxed and began to live sober. For the first nineteen years and ten months I was sober, I was not a Christian. I believed that a divine being was caring for me and helping me stay sober, but I wouldn’t have called that being the Holy Spirit. Now, I do. The Holy Spirit has communicated with me many times, and I have always benefited from doing what the Spirit told me to do, even when I didn’t initially want to.

The Holy Spirit, God, can communicate with anyone. If the Holy Spirit wants a homosexual to live as if they are straight, the Holy Spirit can tell them that. There is never a need for me, or anyone, to go around telling people how they should live. Nothing in the Bible says that I, or anyone, should claim to know how God feels about LGBTQ+ people. There are a few places that indicate that God wasn’t happy about sexual violence or exploitation at specific times and places — I’m fine with that — but nothing about consensual, loving relationships between people of the same gender. And even if there was something in the Bible indicating that such a relationship was not what God wanted, that would simply mean that such a relationship was like everything else. Nothing about how we live now is how God wanted it.

There are many LGBTQ+ affirming Christians who are willing to say that God delights in same-sex relationships and that He wants LGBTQ+ people to live and flourish in His world. I’m very tempted to say I agree with them, but I’m not quite able to. When people claim that God hates LGBTQ+ people, it’s obvious to me that those people are usurping God’s authority as the only one qualified to judge. If different people take the opposite position, they’re doing the same thing from a different angle. Either way, I feel better staying out of it. I don’t claim to know how God feels about lesbians, gays, bisexuals, transgender individuals or any of the rest of the LGBTQ+’s, except for the fact that He loves everyone and wants us all to be somewhat happy. I’m L and T, by the way.

No matter how God might feel about LGBTQ+ people, or the activities they engage in to express their LGBTQ+ness, I am commanded to love them as myself. I take that to mean that I should love them as I would want them to love me. And I don’t want anyone, no matter how well-intentioned they might be — getting all up in my business and telling me that the way I live is wrong, so I don’t do that to other people. I certainly don’t go around voting for people who are open about their desire to take fundamental human rights away from people. There is no way, as far as I can see, to square that behavior with the teachings of Jesus, as recorded in the Bible. It can’t be done.

This has been a bit of a ramble — more so, I think, than most of what I write — but I think I’ve managed to explain my opening statement and clarify my position on it well enough. I can summarize — gays can live as if they were straight, but there is no good reason for anyone to want them to.